Home computers are remarkable things. It seems that several times each day someone around us remarks about them. That goes for me, too. After all, I'm not a four-letter-word kind of fellow, except of course under the most angry mind-states. To that end, I must credit my home PCs, without which I'd never have learned to cuss like a longshoreman. And that says a lot, because my first full-time paying job ever was (ta da!) longshoreman, and the docks never gave me a scintilla of the sheer cussing vocabulary that my PCs have.
That includes ALL personal computers, by the way, including the near-sacred Macs.
At some time in everyone's life, assuming they are living in the First or Second World, the computer upon which so much depends will freeze, lose a file, erase an important document, send the wrong email ("Sorry, boss!"), secretly download pornographic sites, secretly upload important personal information, engage in a data-searching Mobius loop, release wisps of white smoke from the tower, accidentally (and, thank's to Murphy, at the absolutely worst possible time) send live video camera images to someone on your Skype, or, best of all, crash. I no longer doubt that whatever the source of the chips inside, some must be potato chips, and others programmed by a black-box outfit called Kamikaze Electronics.
This isn't a subject I intended to include on my blog, but I've been having wrestling match with my PC. Even after running four programmes that condense files, toss duplicate files, and otherwise "streamline and speed up" the processing, my time from click to result is still slower than my grandmother running uphill backwards--and she passed away in 1986!
So there it is. My rant. Now please excuse me, my PC has informed me it's time to learn some new cuss words. Today, we cover the letter "P".
You can order a copy of my new book, GIANT LIZARDS, 2nd EDITION (2009) by clicking here!
That includes ALL personal computers, by the way, including the near-sacred Macs.
At some time in everyone's life, assuming they are living in the First or Second World, the computer upon which so much depends will freeze, lose a file, erase an important document, send the wrong email ("Sorry, boss!"), secretly download pornographic sites, secretly upload important personal information, engage in a data-searching Mobius loop, release wisps of white smoke from the tower, accidentally (and, thank's to Murphy, at the absolutely worst possible time) send live video camera images to someone on your Skype, or, best of all, crash. I no longer doubt that whatever the source of the chips inside, some must be potato chips, and others programmed by a black-box outfit called Kamikaze Electronics.
This isn't a subject I intended to include on my blog, but I've been having wrestling match with my PC. Even after running four programmes that condense files, toss duplicate files, and otherwise "streamline and speed up" the processing, my time from click to result is still slower than my grandmother running uphill backwards--and she passed away in 1986!
So there it is. My rant. Now please excuse me, my PC has informed me it's time to learn some new cuss words. Today, we cover the letter "P".
You can order a copy of my new book, GIANT LIZARDS, 2nd EDITION (2009) by clicking here!
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